2024 Short funny dirty sayings

Oct 5, 2016 · 2. "I was hers. She was mine. My body was her chariot, and she drove it into the sun. Her body was my river, and I became the sea." (Gregory David Roberts, Shantaram) —suggested by erenah. 3 ... . Kelly estub

Colorful Southern Expressions About Liars. Don't piss on my leg and tell me it's rainin'! Don't pee down my back and tell me it's raining. That dog won't hunt. You're lyin' like a no-legged dog! If his lips's movin', he's lyin'. You’d call an alligator a lizard. That man is talking with his tongue out of his shoe.Or, they might be trying to hide from you because they jumped on all the beds and smeared chocolate on the pillows. It’s probably the latter. If you can relate to these funny mom quotes you’ll ...Mar 11, 2024 · 5. The tide wouldn’t take that fella out. One of many funny short Irish sayings that makes a jab at someones appearance is this one! For example: “The state of your man – the tide wouldn’t even take him out!”. 6. You’ve a head on you that would make an onion cry. 1. Weirdly, I’ve been taking some anti-impotence medication for my sunburn. It doesn’t cure it, but it keeps the sheets off my legs at night. —–. 2. What do you call a cheap circumcision? A rip-off! —–. 3. Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack? He only comes once a year. —–. 4. Why didn’t Barbie ever get pregnant?Here are the 200 best sarcastic quotes, from funny comments, sayings, and phrases dripping with snarky sarcasm. They say sarcasm shows weakness, but …22. Laundry-all fun and games until it has to be put away. 23. Laundry – take it one load at a time. Laundry Room Sign Sayings. 24. “I love doing laundry! Except for putting it in the dryer, taking it out and folding it and then putting it away.” 25. Everybody wants to save the earth; no one wants to help mom do the laundry. 26.Feb 12, 2018 · These collections of the best dirty jokes are strictly for adults only! If you’re dirty minded and like a bit of rude and risque humor and innuendo, then these jokes will be right up your alley! Enjoy them! You are a kind, beautiful, and amazing person. I hope you accept my birthday wishes and these lies on your birthday today! I won't lie—I'm only here for the cake. Happy birthday! Another year has gone by, but you haven't gotten any wiser. Oh, well. Happy birthday! I don't feel like wishing you a happy birthday.Southern Sayings About Being Poor & Broke. 37. He was so poor, he had a tumbleweed as a pet. 38. He doesn’t have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of. 39. I’m so poor I couldn’t jump over a nickel to save a dime. 40. I’m as poor as a church mouse.Common sense is like deodorant, those who need it the most never use it. 11. I don’t need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning. 12. Life always offers you a second chance. It’s called tomorrow. 13. My six pack is protected by a layer of fat.14. When nothing is going right, go left.15.Georgie Porgy pudding and pie. kissed the girls and made them cry. ... to have some hanky panky. ... And now there's little Franky. ... to fetch her poor dog a bone.1. “Life is like a dirty joke, it’s only funny if you’re not easily offended.” – Unknown. 2. “Laughter is the cleansing agent of our souls, so don’t be afraid to get a little dirty.” – Ellen DeGeneres. 3. “Dirty minds think alike, but the truly funny ones embrace it.” – George Carlin.Mar 14, 2024 · Charles Shulz. “May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.”. – George Carlin. A day without laughter is a day wasted. Charlie Chaplin. Political correctness is tyranny with manners. Charleton Heston. If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito. Dalai Lama. See full list on shortstatusquotes.com In a world filled with constant noise and distractions, a well-crafted funny short quote or saying has the power to captivate and entertain. Whether it’s a clever one-liner or a hu...Jan 22, 2024 ... Why are owls so carefree? Because they don't give a hoot. · Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. · When is a door not a door? · I never really ...Funny Pirate Sayings: Sayings About Pirates. To learn more about pirates, here are a handful of funny pirate sayings and quotes from well-known and famous individuals. “I think pirates, like astronauts, particularly for a boy, are always kind of worth thinking about.”. “It is when pirates count their booty that they become mere thieves.”.Jul 13, 2023 · These funny dirty quotes push the boundaries of innuendo, incorporating a playful and risqué tone that is sure to evoke laughter and amusement. From clever wordplay to saucy double entendres, these quotes walk the fine line between being naughty and nice. Extra Dirty, Martini, Gray Unisex Short Sleeve T-shirt / FREE SHIPPING (1.2k) Sale Price ... Dirty Sayings Shirt, Funny Christmas Shirt (154) Sale ...Oct 21, 2021 · Funny quotes about enemies. 31. “Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.”—. Oscar Wilde. 32. “ The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies ... Constant change is here to stay. – Anonymous. I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not too sure. – Anonymous. If you can’t answer a man’s argument, all is not lost; you can still call him vile names. – Elbert Hubbard. If you want your children to listen, try talking softly – to someone else. – Ann Landers. Dirty one liners. A man is being arrested by a female police officer, who informs him, "Anything you say can and will be held against you." The man replies, "Boobs!" One liner tags: communication, dirty, men, women. 79.84 % / 853 votes. 2. "I was hers. She was mine. My body was her chariot, and she drove it into the sun. Her body was my river, and I became the sea." (Gregory David Roberts, Shantaram) —suggested by erenah. 3 ...I want to take you out to dinner, then light the bedroom with candles and show you how much I love you. Roses are red. Violets are fine. You be the six. I’ll be the nine. Can I borrow a kiss? I promise I’ll give it back. I love every part of you. You’re so beautiful that you made me forget my pick-up line.I googled and found these, its a strange world out there... Roses are straight, Violets are twisted, Bend over love, You're about to get f*sted.From $20.66. Dirty Mind Sexy Imagination - Adult Jokes Sayings - Funny Adult Humor Classic T-Shirt. By WIZECROW. From $19.84. Funny Girlfriend Sayings - Adult Humor - Dirty Jokes Classic T-Shirt. By WIZECROW. From $19.84. Im so good Santa came twice funny Christmas gifts for adult dirty Xmas Classic T-Shirt.2. "I was hers. She was mine. My body was her chariot, and she drove it into the sun. Her body was my river, and I became the sea." (Gregory David Roberts, Shantaram) —suggested by erenah. 3 ...Here are some of our favorite short Christmas quotes. “Walking in a winter wonderland.” – “Winter Wonderland”. “Peace on earth will come to stay, when we live Christmas every day.”. — Helen Steiner Rice. “Christmas will always be as long as we stand heart to heart and hand in hand.”. — Dr. Seuss. “Christmas isn’t a season.Get straight to the point with these short funny Christmas wishes. Merry Christmas, that’s all. Make sure you are paying attention to Elf and safety this Christmas. Pass the Prosecc-Ho Ho-Ho. Merry Christmas, there’s snow-one quite like you. It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas. Merry Christmas you old drunk.Mar 1, 2023 · Funny Dirty Quotes For Girls/Guys 2024 Here we have funny dirty quotes and phrases for him and her. Use these dirty mind quotes when he or she wakes up in the morning or in the night before going to bed for dirty dreams. Constant change is here to stay. – Anonymous. I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not too sure. – Anonymous. If you can’t answer a man’s argument, all is not lost; you can still call him vile names. – Elbert Hubbard. If you want your children to listen, try talking softly – to someone else. – Ann Landers.Plato. “He was a wise man who invented beer.”. — Plato. The compliment of “wise” really means a lot coming from Plato. We’d like to think he’d also enjoy these funny drinking quotes ...4. “Bit me directly in the buttocks.”. — Forrest Gump, Forrest Gump. Kids’ movies aren’t the only ones that feature deceptively dirty lines. Even family favorites like Forrest Gump have ...May 3, 2020 · Whether you are here for funny coffee quotes or witty bar quotes, we have the best funny drinking sayings for your letter board signs. These short drinking quotes include funny coffee sayings, funny cocktail quotes, funny beer quotes, champagne puns, and funny wine sayings. I just love the word play involved in party planning. Styling my letter boards for parties is one of my favorite parts of ... So, without further ado, let's dive into the world of inappropriate one-liners! 01. My wife says she wants another baby. I'm so glad because I also really don't like the first one. 02. A new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. It's true. I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.These collections of the best dirty jokes are strictly for adults only! If you’re dirty minded and like a bit of rude and risque humor and innuendo, then these jokes will be right up your alley! Enjoy them!Funny, Dirty Pick-Up Lines. 1. Hey girl, is your name winter? Because you’ll be coming soon. 2. Are you a haunted house? Because I’m going to scream when I’m in you. 3. Can you do telekinesis? Because you’ve made a part of me move without even touching it. 4. One of my friends told me girls hate oral, do you wanna help me prove him ...14. I’m not a professional photographer, but I can picture us together. 15. If you were a vegetable, you’d be a ‘cute-cumber.’. 16. I never believed in love at first sight, but that was before I saw you. 17. You’ve got a lot of beautiful curves, but your smile is definitely my favorite. 18.When you think of the SEC, "fun" isn't the word that usually comes to mind. When you think of the US Securities and Exchange Commission, “fun” isn’t the word that usually comes to ...Funny Quotes. 1. “I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with ’em later." —Mitch Hedberg. 2. “Gentlemen, you can't fight in here. This ...Check out our shirts with dirty sayings selection for the very best in unique or custom, handmade pieces from our t-shirts shops. ... Cringe Tee Prank Gift Inappropriate Unique Ironic Saying Shirt Funny Cat Dirty Rude Saying T-Shirt G $ 23.99. FREE shipping Add to Favorites ... 30th Birthday Shirt For Women T-Shirt For 30th Short Sleeve Tee For ...Rotating through some funny sayings are the perfect way to use your letter board throughout the year. Do not read the next sentence. You little rebel…. I would lose weight but I hate losing. The broom was late… it overswept. I’m not lazy, I’m on energy save mode. The key to happiness is low expectations.There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full. ― Henry Kissinger. He has a face like a Saint ― A Saint Bernard. ― Unknown. A clear conscience is the sure sign of a bad memory. ― Mark Twain. Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.Oct 21, 2021 · Funny quotes about enemies. 31. “Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.”—. Oscar Wilde. 32. “ The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies ... Apr 27, 2023 · 1. “When people ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark.”. 2. “I’m not saying I hate you, what I’m saying is that you are literally the Monday of my ... Dec 24, 2022 ... More Funny (and Short) Dirty Jokes ... What did the apple say to the vibrator? I should be the one shaking and trembling – she is going to bite me ...1. “Life is like a dirty joke, it’s only funny if you’re not easily offended.” – Unknown. 2. “Laughter is the cleansing agent of our souls, so don’t be afraid to get a …Jan 23, 2024 ... Jan 23, 2024 - This Pin was discovered by AnishKumar.TR. Discover (and save!) your own Pins on Pinterest.Christina Strigas. See also 176+ Best Cute Quotes For Him. When I want to smile, I know exactly what to do. I just close my eyes and think of you. Rakii Retondo. I’m so bored at work, come and save me. You are, and always have been, my dream. Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook. Forget everything that surrounds you.6. Asshole. This is one of those curse words that literally describes a part of our body (in the buttocks), but is also used as a swear word. ‍. 7. Son of a b*tch. A versatile word that can be used internally like the word 'damn' or 'shit' but can also be used to describe someone who tossed one over you. ‍.150 Funny Birthday Wishes, Quotes, Jokes & Images Last updated: September 21, 2023 Start here for the funniest birthday wishes around! In a world where birthday cards are often filled with kind words, meaningful sentiments, and ways to charm the reader, there's always the chance to take a different route - the funny route.Because they kept saying “bach bach”! 23. What kind of bird doesn’t need a comb? A bald eagle. 24. Where does bird royalty live? Duckingham Palace. 25. What kind of bird can carry the most weight? The crane. 26. What books did the owl like? Hoot-dunits! 27. What robs you while you’re in the bathtub? A robber ducky. 28.Submissive Kinky Memes. You might, on the other hand, find yourself to be the more submissive partner. This simply means that you typically enjoy enduring the actions of your partner, whatever that might be. This could look like impact play, roleplay, or any number of other options! It often results in a power dynamic, however….Mar 1, 2023 · Funny Dirty Quotes For Girls/Guys 2024 Here we have funny dirty quotes and phrases for him and her. Use these dirty mind quotes when he or she wakes up in the morning or in the night before going to bed for dirty dreams. Moving on, let’s roll through a few calorie-dense funny t-shirt sayings like a flaming wheel of cheese. Bigger is better. And I’m bigger than you. I could eat you, or you could leave. Put it in my mouth. Be afraid, or feed me. Don’t bother me while I’m eating. Not a fan of sharing. 5 rules for life: Do. Not. Touch.70. Funny pet family pet animals bunny rabbit cute animal baby bunny rabbit adorable animals bunny pet smile. Cute Bunny Quotes. 71. The truth is a bunny in a bramble patch. All you can do is circle around and say it’s somewhere in there. 72. Try saying that five times fast. This bunny knows how to try new things and has a sensitive ...These 101 funny quotes from comedians, movies, authors, and TV look at the hilarious side of life. Enjoy these funny quotes, a laugh and share with a friend.Short Fishing Quotes. Short and sweet is where it’s at – sometimes, you don’t need a whole bunch of words to get your point across. “Calling fishing a hobby is like calling brain surgery a job.”. – Paul Schullery. “There’s a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot.”. – Steven Wright.The holiday season is a time when we all come together to spread love, joy, and warmth. One of the most cherished traditions during this time is exchanging Christmas cards. These l...They say that laughter is the best medicine, so it’s a good idea to have a few jokes on hand whenever you need to cheer someone up. With cute, funny, short jokes, you can turn some...4. “Yes, my favorite animal is definitely the beaver.” Image: Giphy 5. “Wanna bone?” Image: Giphy 6. “A pearl necklace would look really nice on you.”Really Dirty Quotes And Sayings. Dirty Love Quotes And Sayings. Abraham Lincoln Quotes. Albert Einstein Quotes. Bill Gates Quotes. Bob Marley Quotes. Funny Quotes About Dirty Minds. Flirty Dirty Quotes. Dirty Mind Funny Quotes.Oct 21, 2021 · Funny quotes about enemies. 31. “Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.”—. Oscar Wilde. 32. “ The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies ... Jan 2, 2024 · Funny Dirty Status. Discover 70 ways to bring joy to a man’s heart—Alcohol being the first, and the remaining 69 left to the imagination! If you find yourself texting two people simultaneously, you might just be bitextual. Your lips are akin to wine, and I aspire to indulge in the intoxication. The true fountain of youth lies in possessing ... Funny sayings about turning 60 can be found on various websites, such as JokeQuote and 60th Birthday Wishes. A good example is a quote by Pablo Picasso, who declared, “One starts t...Aug 9, 2021 · 4. “Bit me directly in the buttocks.”. — Forrest Gump, Forrest Gump. Kids’ movies aren’t the only ones that feature deceptively dirty lines. Even family favorites like Forrest Gump have ... Moving on, let’s roll through a few calorie-dense funny t-shirt sayings like a flaming wheel of cheese. Bigger is better. And I’m bigger than you. I could eat you, or you could leave. Put it in my mouth. Be afraid, or feed me. Don’t bother me while I’m eating. Not a fan of sharing. 5 rules for life: Do. Not. Touch.13 Laundry Quotes. 1. Laundry – 30 minutes to wash. 45 minutes to dry. 7-10 days to put away. 2. Laundry…the never-ending story. 3. Laundry – wash, dry, fold, repeat. 4. It will all come out in the wash. 5. Laundry today or naked tomorrow! 6. The laundry is looking at me dirty again… 7.Retirement is a significant milestone in one’s life. It marks the end of a long and fulfilling career, and the beginning of a new chapter filled with leisure, relaxation, and perso...Rotating through some funny sayings are the perfect way to use your letter board throughout the year. Do not read the next sentence. You little rebel…. I would lose weight but I hate losing. The broom was late… it overswept. I’m not lazy, I’m on energy save mode. The key to happiness is low expectations.Every day, I fall in love with you the same way I did the first time.Can’t wait to do it again with you. I love the touch of your lips when we kiss, I love the rub of your hips when we rub, I love the warmth of your breathe on my neck when we hug. You are the only man I …Jan 22, 2024 ... Why are owls so carefree? Because they don't give a hoot. · Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. · When is a door not a door? · I never really ...Funny, Dirty Pick-Up Lines. 1. Hey girl, is your name winter? Because you’ll be coming soon. 2. Are you a haunted house? Because I’m going to scream when I’m in you. 3. Can you do telekinesis? Because you’ve made a part of me move without even touching it. 4. One of my friends told me girls hate oral, do you wanna help me prove him ...Because they kept saying “bach bach”! 23. What kind of bird doesn’t need a comb? A bald eagle. 24. Where does bird royalty live? Duckingham Palace. 25. What kind of bird can carry the most weight? The crane. 26. What books did the owl like? Hoot-dunits! 27. What robs you while you’re in the bathtub? A robber ducky. 28.Feb 12, 2018 · These collections of the best dirty jokes are strictly for adults only! If you’re dirty minded and like a bit of rude and risque humor and innuendo, then these jokes will be right up your alley! Enjoy them! Fly Fishing Quotes. “The best way to a fisherman’s heart is through his fly.”. – Unknown. “I love fishing. You put that line in the water and you don’t know what’s on the other end. Your imagination is under there. ” – Robert Altman. “Good things come to those who bait” – Unknown. “You must lose a fly to catch a trout.”.Sayings on farewell cakes generally are short, pertinent messages such as “We’ll Miss You,” “Bon Voyage,” “Good Luck,” “Farewell” and “All the Best.” When writing messages on cakes...Funny Springtime Quotes. These funny springtime quotes will put a smile on your face. “Springtime is the land awakening. The March winds are the morning yawn.”. – Lewis Grizzard. “In springtime, love is carried on the breeze. Watch out for flying passion or kisses whizzing by your head.”.Funny quotes about life. “Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.”. “Life is like a roller coaster—full of ups and downs, and it’s over way too fast.”. “I’m on the seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.”. “Life is like a camera. Focus on the good times, develop from the negatives, and if things don’t work out ...Lasting only a few seconds, echoic memory is the short-term recall of sounds we hear everyday. It can be a door bell ringing, dog barking, or clicking of a pen. The ultra-short-ter...Mar 14, 2024 · Charles Shulz. “May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.”. – George Carlin. A day without laughter is a day wasted. Charlie Chaplin. Political correctness is tyranny with manners. Charleton Heston. If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito. Dalai Lama. The 100 Best Swear Words In The English Language. We might be bad at lots of things, but no one swears better than the British. by Alex Finnis. BuzzFeed Staff, UK 1. stocksnap.io ...Jul 25, 2022 · If you’re unsure how to begin, let us show you some examples of limericks. These funny short poems, with their bouncy rhythm and absurd themes, may even get you chuckling! #1. An elderly man called Keith, Mislaid his set of false teeth. They'd been laid on a chair, He'd forgot they were there, Sat down, and was bitten beneath. Researchers have discovered abundant colonies of mycobacterium in residential shower heads. HowStuffWorks takes a looks and offers a quick fix. Advertisement Taking a shower should...Birthdays are typically a time of joy, which makes funny birthday messages pretty much a no-brainer. Sure, you could go for something sentimental, but whether you're looking for the right words to personalize a DIY birthday card, make a great toast, or just put together the perfect social media post in honor of the occasion, short birthday wishes that bring on the grins and giggles are always ...Funny short toasts. 10.) May your beautiful lips never blister! 11.) Let us drink to bread, for without bread, there would be no toast. 12.) May all your ups and downs be under the covers! 13.) It is better to spend money like there’s no tomorrow than to spend tonight like there’s no money.Jul 7, 2021 · 11. “I’m gracing you with my presence.”. — Kourtney Kardashian. 12. “You wouldn’t worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.”. — Eleanor ... In the spirit of golf, may your joys be chip-ins and your sorrows merely bunkers. 🏖️🏌️. A toast to the greens that challenge us and the swings that define us! 🥂⛳. May your golf cart carry more laughter than your golf bag carries balls! 🚗🏌️‍♂️. To the game that steals our balls and wins our hearts, swing away! 💘⛳.Short Fishing Quotes. Short and sweet is where it’s at – sometimes, you don’t need a whole bunch of words to get your point across. “Calling fishing a hobby is like calling brain surgery a job.”. – Paul Schullery. “There’s a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot.”. – Steven Wright.Funny Adult Png 20oz Skinny Tumbler Wrap Dirty, Funny Quotes Mens Teasing Design PNG Instant DIGITAL ONLY, Adult Humor Png Sarcastic Tumbler (180) Sale ... kitchen quotes, dishes are looking at me dirty, kiss the cook, life is short, lick the bowl, png, jpg, dxf (4.3k) Sale Price $2.62 $ 2.62 $ 3.49 Original Price $3.49 ...

Sarcastic Kitchen Quotes. No Bitchin’ In My Kitchen. Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, so they say. But when it comes to kitchen quotes, some of those sarcastic sayings are also the funniest. Annoying the cook will result in STARVATION. Calories don’t count on the weekend. Cheese – Milk’s leap towards imortality.. Seating chart american family field

I want to take you out to dinner, then light the bedroom with candles and show you how much I love you. Roses are red. Violets are fine. You be the six. I’ll be the nine. Can I borrow a kiss? I promise I’ll give it back. I love every part of you. You’re so beautiful that you made me forget my pick-up line.See disclosure in the sidebar. We’ve curated a hilarious collection of dirty memes that are not for the faint-hearted or those who are easily offended. Consider this your PG-13 playground where naughtiness meets knee-slapping laughs. You can get started – but you’ve been warned!Researchers have discovered abundant colonies of mycobacterium in residential shower heads. HowStuffWorks takes a looks and offers a quick fix. Advertisement Taking a shower should... I keep getting lost in your eyes.”. “Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears.”. “If kisses were snowflakes, I’d send you a blizzard.”. “Excuse me, but I think you dropped something: my jaw.”. “Is it hot in here, or is it just you?”. “Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you ... Christmas is a time of joy, love, and togetherness. It’s a time when families come together to celebrate the birth of Jesus and enjoy a delicious feast. One tradition that can add ...Funny Christmas Card Sayings. “Merry Christmas! You sleigh me.”. “Cheers to warm holiday memories!”. “Deck the halls — not your family.”. “Cheers to a lovely Christmas season.”. “It’s the most wonderful time of the year. Allegedly.”. “Dear Santa, just leave your credit card under the tree.”.And they are paying for their own plane tickets.”. ***. An Englishman, a Scot, and an Irishman walk into a pub with their wives and all order tea. The Englishman sweetly asks his wife, “Pass the honey, honey.”. Inspired, the Scotsman turns to his wife saying, “Pass the sugar, sugar.”.May 5, 2023 · Lets find out! -You’re my honey, I’m your pot , come fill me with that sweetness you got. -Slap my butt, I’m your thot. -Let’s make art, stroke me with your brush. -I want to sway my hips to the beating of your drum. -Gonna curl your toes tonight! Funny Fishing Sayings. No one is sure who said these funny fishing sayings first. “A worm is a small, reluctant animal used to capture a larger reluctant animal.”. “Fishing is fun…catching is better.”. “Fishing is the sport of drowning worms.”. “When in doubt, exaggerage.”. “Ten fishermen, ten hunters, twenty liars.”.69 Seriously Dirty Jokes and Memes (That Will Make You Cover Your Eyes) by Eric Russell. - 23 Mar 2022. Sense of Humor. Not every joke needs to be family-friendly or G-rated. Some of those jokes are dirty jokes (never appropriate but) always funny. Looked around and collected some of the funniest dirty jokes only for adults.Christmas cards are a wonderful way to spread joy and love during the holiday season. Whether you’re sending them to family, friends, or colleagues, finding the perfect saying can ...2. "I was hers. She was mine. My body was her chariot, and she drove it into the sun. Her body was my river, and I became the sea." (Gregory David Roberts, Shantaram) —suggested by erenah. 3 ...At 70, you’re like a classic novel. You may be a little long, but you’re still worth the read. Happy 70th birthday! May your day be filled with all the things you love, like good friends, good laughs, and not having to do any housework. You’re 70 today, but don’t worry, you’re still young enough to dream big.Bob tries again “ok, ok, sorry. What about $1,000?” Michelle thinks about it, and finally says ok. She drops the bathrobe. Bob has a long look and gives Michelle the $1,000 before leaving. Michelle quickly put …This is why some guys get a reputation for being lazy! 7. My dad only knows masturbation jokes. He says they always cum in handy. That sounds like a sticky situation! 8. If you were born in September, it’s pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a bang.Plato. “He was a wise man who invented beer.”. — Plato. The compliment of “wise” really means a lot coming from Plato. We’d like to think he’d also enjoy these funny drinking quotes ....

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